One Bread, One Body?

I had the pleasure of choosing where to worship this morning. I've never been to the big new Catholic church, St. James the Greater, just up the road before, and I've wanted to see the inside of it since they finished it a couple years ago. So off I went for 11:00 mass.

Now, I've been to masses before, so I kind of know the drill. Nevertheless, I was a little anxious, as most first-time visitors surely are. So when I went in I looked for a friendly looking usher, found one (!), and said, "I'm new at this. Is there anything I should know?"

She looked pleased for an opportunity to be helpful. "Oh, are you a Protestant?"

"Yes, I am!" says I.

"I'm a convert!" she said. "Just don't freak out by how many times we get up and down and up and down. This service is also a little noisy, because, unlike Protestants, we bring our children to church."

"...." I said, biting my tongue.

She continued, undaunted, "Some of the kids get a little loud, and some of them I'd just like to POP sometimes! But over all, it's good to have them here. Now are you exploring Catholicism?"

"No, I'm just on vacation."

"Oh, well, that's wonderful that you can be with us. We have a visiting priest today. You can sit anywhere, and enjoy the mass!"

In spite of the slam about Protestants and children, I went into the sanctuary feeling lighthearted and oddly welcome. The sanctuary is really quite beautiful. It has a contemporary feel without the experimentation of a lot of modern church architecture. It's a large sanctuary, and it was quite, quite full. The walls are painted in a sort of greenish khaki with tan trim, which gives it all a warm, homey feel. The pews are a rich cherry-looking wood, and relatively comfortable. There is, of course, an enormous crucifix on the front wall, with statues of St. Peter to his right and St. James to his left. There is a ring of three fish on the ceiling over the center of the transept, the meaning of which I should know, but it seemed a bit out of place. I think it is trinitarian and recalling the multiplication of food, but whatever. There are two tiers of windows. The upper ones are clear, the lower are stained glass representations of the various biblical stories, OT on the left, NT on the right. After the service I found that there are four sets of statues with candles and kneelers in the four outer corners of the transept. The choir loft / balcony is in the back with a huge, 3-manual Allen organ, which was played ably during the mass. There is a very large representation of the Annunciation on the back wall.

The service itself was like most masses I've been to and not unlike our own liturgy in many regards. Different elements are more or less emphasized than in our service, but the order is pretty much the same. There were two men leading the mass, both in green and gold liturgical garb -- forget what they call the poncho-like robes. The older man was the visiting priest who had been the parish priest for St. James some fifteen years ago, as it turns out. He was soft spoken and not well miked, so he was hard to hear (especially with all those noisy children -- they really weren't that bad). The younger man, it turns out, was a deacon -- a layman who can serve in virtually every way as a priest except for officiating the eucharist. I learned this later along with the fact that he is married and has two children. He was a much better speaker and much easier to hear. He led most of the prayers and did a really good job.

As for the older priest's homily, well, Catholic priests have a reputation for not being very good preachers, and this fellow didn't disappoint, I'm afraid. For the life of me, I don't know what his point was. There was stuff about the covenant with Abram, and looking at the stars of the sky (I got the impression that the priest has a love of the night sky!), and a good bit about freedom -- for physically enslaved Israel and for modern people enslaved by sin (and maybe bad doctrine?), but I couldn't really find the connection or what God's part in it all is supposed to be. And it was hard to hear him, to boot. I did get the impression he wants us all to be free, though, so I'm good with that.

The woman who was the cantor for the responses and the Psalm and all was very good and had a beautiful voice. I saw her as she was walking out after the service and noticed she was wearing a lace scarf over her hair. I had noticed earlier that several other older women around sanctuary were wearing such scarves, too. I was a little surprised at that at first, but I was particularly surprised by the cantor, as she was a younger woman, probably in her early 30s. I am not familiar with this being a regular practice in Catholic churches. There weren't many who were doing it, so I wouldn't call it widespread, but there were enough to catch my attention.

I found myself singing the responses more robustly than a lot of the people around me. Thought that was interesting since I didn't know most of them. Just sayin'.

I knew going in I wouldn't be taking communion, which I don't really agree with or appreciate, but I am willing to abide by their custom. In the front of the missal (the seasonal book of liturgy and prayers in the pews), it explains a bit about this practice of what we call closed communion, who can and can't partake, and so on. It suggests that those who are not taking communion should pray for the unity of Church and of all God's people. So I did that. While the many and various divisions within Christendom will probably never even come to consensus on what "the unity of the Church" means, I prayed for it nonetheless, and for God's blessing on the congregation and mission of St. James. I have, in the past, often felt smug and arrogant about my own faith tradition when attending mass. Today, by the grace of Christ, I was able to get past that. That felt good.

After the service and after I had meandered around admiring the sanctuary, I was making my way out, wondering if I might see the usher with whom I had spoken. She was in fact in the narthex, talking with some children. When she saw me she came straight to me and asked if I had had any questions. I told her no. We introduced ourselves, and she asked again if I was just starting to explore Catholicism. I told her, no, I am actually a Presbyterian minister. Surprisingly, this did not slow her fervor for getting me what I needed to pursue my conversion to Catholicism! Among the points she made were that their previous priest was also a convert, that I should read Scott Hahn's books about his journey from Protestantism to Catholicism, how his exploration of the early church fathers' writings pointed to Catholic practice and doctrine rather than things Protestant, that there is a particular program on one of the Catholic cable networks about converting, and a few other stories about her own journey from having attended Baptist and Presbyterian (PCA) churches but having come to understand that Christ is in the Eucharist and submitting to the authority of the Church she was led to convert. I tried a couple times to assure her I was really fine with being Presbyterian, but she seemed to know differently. "When you're ready, read some of Hahn's books, if you are looking for some answers." Trying to remain gracious, I thanked her. We wished each other well, and I made my get away. It was fascinating to find someone who was so zealous and evangelical for the Catholic faith. She obviously had sincere motives and was wanting nothing but to help me on my way, even though she might not have taken the time to discern where my way seems to be going.

All in all, I had a very pleasant experience of worship, even though there were many points where I might otherwise have found myself feeling alienated, frustrated, or even insulted. I think what I appreciated most was the sincerity of faith I felt from this one woman and in the atmosphere of the congregation. The desire to have an experience of God's presence, to share that experience with others and pass it along to others (either children or pre-converts), to participate in the mystery of Christian community, these are things we share, and I believe they only come from Christ by grace. As many things as we all do in our churches to turn people off, Jesus still is inherently attractive, making us one body in him.

Thanks be to God!

I went viral!

Don't know how many people this affected yet, but when I got on my email this afternoon I found my auto-reply message propagating itself at a prodigious rate in one of the yahoogroups I belong to (one about astronomy sketches, as it happens)! Obviously, I misset the rules somehow, and it was looping back on itself. A little later I got an email from one of my blog subscribers wondering why I had just sent him 16 of the same message. (This is, I think, unrelated to the fact that he subscribes to my blog - just one of those happy accidents.) Any way, after the first episode I turned off the auto-reply. At least I think I did. But I don't know if it was widespread through my address book or anyone in my inbox or just random victims. My apologies to any and all.

It's a little like what happened to Craig Ferguson, host of CBS's Late Late Show, and one of my favorite personalities. He opened his show the other night explaining that when he gets angry with someone, he writes them a nasty email on his phone, explaining just exactly what he thinks of them at the moment, and then saves it as a draft and never sends it. It gets it out of his system and he moves on. Not a bad strategy, really. Except.... Something happened that day that was unexpected, and he got a call from his stage director asking what the ... um.. fuss was all about? Craig asked what he meant, and director guy said, this email you just sent me? Craig checked his phone, and ALL the draft messages had been sent. "I just spent a year's wages on flowers today!" he said mournfully.

I don't think I'm quite in that condition, but I can imagine a few people thinking I'm rubbing it in a little that I'm not working for the next three month. Sigh. One of the odd side-effects of this process.

Be that as it may, stay subscribed!

This is hard work!

Well, since going off the clock I've been mostly sitting at my computer, not unlike spending time at the office. I've been working on:

• flight arrangements for New Mexico, 
• car rental for same, 
• flight arrangements for me to and from UK, 
• flight arrangements for Molly to and from UK, 
• travel for Dad, Clare, and me from Dublin to Belfast, 
• flight arrangements for Dad, Clare, and me from Belfast to Scotland, 
• car rental for Belfast, 
• housing accommodations for N. Ireland, 
• and making sure we have phones that work over there.

I know some of you might think I should have had that done a long time ago. Well, I didn't. But now most of it is done, so whatever. It's been crazy trying to figure it all out, though. Dad and Clare are coming from Pittsburgh, Molly and I from DC, but with three different itineraries. Dad and Clare and I are going over together, but not coming back together. Molly is coming later and leaving earlier, but I had to get us all to Aberdeen at about the same time. Then there's the whole public transit stuff. Phew! It's exhausting.

Besides that, I've been doing genealogical research on www.ancestry.com, looking for Douthetts as far back as we can go. So far I haven't gotten past Joseph Douthett, the first of our line we know of who came from Ireland. He apparently was born in Armagh, N. Ireland, in 1745, got married to Rosanna Rea and had some babies there before coming across. Son Benjamin was apparently born in 1765, also in Armagh, so they didn't come over until after that, any way. Records have Joseph and family coming to Butler Co. PA in 1799 or 1800 from Washington Co. PA. I haven't found any evidence of him in Washington Co., although I did find some reference to some Douthetts in Washington Township of Allegany Co. about that time.

I found also a family history for a different branch of Douthetts wherein the author outlines a broader history of the name going back to the Renaissance! Unfortunately, there is no source material or reference to follow up and prove it. Still, very exciting. In fact, it's been so exciting, I was up until 3:00 two nights running, following various links and lines and whatnot all.

So all in all there is progress in the preparations, but the relaxing? That still needs some work.

Will try to write again tomorrow. In the mean time, stay subscribed!

So it begins...

Well, I was not thrilled with my sermon this morning -- my last until November! -- but it was okay. I sort of started in the wrong place, as I thought about it later, and then the whole thing was sideways. It had sounded so much better last night and in the shower this morning. Oh well.

Any way, at 11:27 pm, I've got just about a half hour until the sabbatical starts officially I guess. We had a good worship service and a good crowd. It was nice to see so many people there at once and many who we haven't seen for some time. I am confident that Leslianne will do a great job at CPC. Then the Church Life committee put together a wonderful reception after the service with cakes and shrimp and punch and fresh fruit and all manner of goodies. Lots of good wishes from many dear people. Barry introduced and welcomed Leslianne and offered a farewell blessing to me. Very nice!

Had a meeting after all the festivities -- an appropriate way to go out. Then, I found it hard to get everything together and get out of the office this afternoon. This leave-taking really is challenging. I feel like I'm leaving so much undone and so many people that I should have contacted. If you are one of those or are close to one, I ask for your grace and forgiveness. I'm also just so used to being at the church, doing.... churchy things. Maybe the anxiety I feel about leaving is a good indication that it's a really good idea for me to leave for a while! It reminds me (and the congregation) that ministry is God's work first, and who does it is secondary.

Okay. It's now after midnight. Heeeeeeeeere weeeeee GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And then there was one.

One sermon to go between here and November. God, be in my heart, my mind, my mouth!

Time Never Asks What's Become of Us

Counting down the days now. That would be on the close order of nine, by the way.

Just before going to Radford for the LOGOS Conference last week, I got an email from the folks at New Mexico Skies that they were heading for Australia at the end of the week, and any reservations would be delayed after Friday, the 16th, as they would be leaving early that day. I remembered this on my way to choir at 6:30 pm on Thursday, the 15th. Of course. I called the folks at NMS and got hold of Lynn. She was finishing her supper and had packed away the computer and much of the paperwork, but she was able to take my reservation, after I finally made some decisions about the dates, September 2 - 9. Also reserved three of the big scopes, the 25-inch Dob, the 6-inch binoculars, and the 11-inch Celestron. She seems like a very nice lady, and clearly a strong, no-nonsense, Western sort.

The accommodations sound a little rustic, but reasonable. The one-bedroom cabin I'll be getting sounds like a converted RV, if I understood Lynn correctly. She asked if I were a large person, as there are a few tight fits, like the front door and the toilet being between the shower and the sink. I allowed as how I'm only about 10 pounds overweight and oughtta be able to fit. She said she tells everyone in careful detail, because she has had some people who have shown up who couldn't fit through the door! Mercy!

I also got my reservations set for Iona, September 25 to October 1. Took a few attempts to get the deposit on the bank card as it was an international transaction. Meanwhile, been working with Dad on getting the rest of the UK trip nailed down. We've got it figured to fly into Dublin, drive north to Derryboy, Armagh, and Londonderry, three likely sites for finding evidence of our ancestors. After a few days poking around the Emerald Isle, we'll fly to Aberdeen, Scotland, and base our Scottish activitites out of Cullen on the northeast coast. The flights are pretty wicked expensive at this point. I wish I knew what the trend is between here and mid-September.

Okay, well, I'm getting tired. We've still got VBS tomorrow, and I'm catching a cold. Jacob and Molly already have it. Meredith is working hard to avoid it, as she has a party planned for Sunday. Gotta get the pool cleaned up before then. So until next time, stay subscribed!

The Real Deal?

One of the things I have been working on over the past couple years is a greater sense of authenticity, that is that my inner world of thoughts and feelings is reflected in my words and actions, and vice versa. For someone like me who is a strong introvert in an extroverted profession, this can be a real challenge. Writing a blog for the congregation to read comes right up against that struggle. How authentic ought one to be on the internet? How honest is honest enough and how much is too much when journaling about private experiences for a public audience? I guess we'll find out as this experiment chugs along.

I want very much for this sabbatical to be a time of renewal in me, in my spirit. Over the twenty years of my ministry I have had a lot of youthful idealism and enthusiasm threshed out of me. To be honest, in the last couple of years it has been hard, really hard for me to generate and maintain much energy for my work. As I write this blog about my sabbatical experience, it is likely that I will reveal some of the holes in my soul, and that's a little scary. I hope that such revelations will come as I describe the ways those holes are being filled, but who knows? So does being authentic mean being completely honest and open about those sorts of things? I don't know. It would be a lot safer just to log the activities without comment, but that might also be pretty boring, and as I have suggested, it might be less than honest and authentic.

Well, if you find what I am writing to be appropriate, insightful, even helpful, I'd love to know that. If you find that it is Too Much Information and inappropriate, I'd like to hear about that, too.

Right now, I am authentically tired, so we'll have to take all this up again some other time.

Keep it real!
--D2--