Finally

Had an interesting experience last night. I was downstairs on my computer, pounding away at the family tree. Molly called down that she was going to bed. I yelled up, "Good night!" then thought, "Hmm. She's been going to bed a lot later than this lately. I wonder why she is going to bed so early ... " Then I realized it was Saturday night, and she had to lead worship in the morning! Oh yeah!

I guess I'm finally on sabbatical.

So it begins...

Well, I was not thrilled with my sermon this morning -- my last until November! -- but it was okay. I sort of started in the wrong place, as I thought about it later, and then the whole thing was sideways. It had sounded so much better last night and in the shower this morning. Oh well.

Any way, at 11:27 pm, I've got just about a half hour until the sabbatical starts officially I guess. We had a good worship service and a good crowd. It was nice to see so many people there at once and many who we haven't seen for some time. I am confident that Leslianne will do a great job at CPC. Then the Church Life committee put together a wonderful reception after the service with cakes and shrimp and punch and fresh fruit and all manner of goodies. Lots of good wishes from many dear people. Barry introduced and welcomed Leslianne and offered a farewell blessing to me. Very nice!

Had a meeting after all the festivities -- an appropriate way to go out. Then, I found it hard to get everything together and get out of the office this afternoon. This leave-taking really is challenging. I feel like I'm leaving so much undone and so many people that I should have contacted. If you are one of those or are close to one, I ask for your grace and forgiveness. I'm also just so used to being at the church, doing.... churchy things. Maybe the anxiety I feel about leaving is a good indication that it's a really good idea for me to leave for a while! It reminds me (and the congregation) that ministry is God's work first, and who does it is secondary.

Okay. It's now after midnight. Heeeeeeeeere weeeeee GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And then there was one.

One sermon to go between here and November. God, be in my heart, my mind, my mouth!

The Real Deal?

One of the things I have been working on over the past couple years is a greater sense of authenticity, that is that my inner world of thoughts and feelings is reflected in my words and actions, and vice versa. For someone like me who is a strong introvert in an extroverted profession, this can be a real challenge. Writing a blog for the congregation to read comes right up against that struggle. How authentic ought one to be on the internet? How honest is honest enough and how much is too much when journaling about private experiences for a public audience? I guess we'll find out as this experiment chugs along.

I want very much for this sabbatical to be a time of renewal in me, in my spirit. Over the twenty years of my ministry I have had a lot of youthful idealism and enthusiasm threshed out of me. To be honest, in the last couple of years it has been hard, really hard for me to generate and maintain much energy for my work. As I write this blog about my sabbatical experience, it is likely that I will reveal some of the holes in my soul, and that's a little scary. I hope that such revelations will come as I describe the ways those holes are being filled, but who knows? So does being authentic mean being completely honest and open about those sorts of things? I don't know. It would be a lot safer just to log the activities without comment, but that might also be pretty boring, and as I have suggested, it might be less than honest and authentic.

Well, if you find what I am writing to be appropriate, insightful, even helpful, I'd love to know that. If you find that it is Too Much Information and inappropriate, I'd like to hear about that, too.

Right now, I am authentically tired, so we'll have to take all this up again some other time.

Keep it real!
--D2--